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Over time,I’ve asked myself why the good girls don’t seem to be catching the big ‘fishes’ in the river,why they don’t get to marry the most eligible bachelors. I’ve asked myself if some good girls were destined to just marry guys who aren’t so tall,handsome, wealthy or willing to spoil them. Why the good girls aren’t the ones being taking to Dubai or getting the latest gadgets as gifts . Every girl deserves the good things of life but there are girls and there are “girls” if you understand what I mean. The ones who aren’t posting twerking videos on their social media pages. The ones who have totally dedicated their lives to God and the pursuit of his kingdom. The ones who aren’t selling their bodies to survive,the ones nicknamed “Spiro”. Those are the good girls and they deserve the very best!
I’m gonna be very open and candid in this post and I want you to grab a seat and relax as we unravel this mystery. There have been times I’ve asked God candid questions like:
1) Am I not good enough to attract wealthy toasters?
2) Some days when “it’s well” with bae’s pocket – Am I destined to marry a poor man?
3) Do I have to apply too much make up to get noticed?
4) What do these so called cool,rich guys see in these “bad girls“?
5) Will this my good girl behavior connect me to a good husband or should I just stop and join the band wagon?
6) Do I have to expose my cleavage or wear mini dresses to get noticed by these happening guys who are willing to spend on me?
I’ve learnt to be very candid with God. He’s reliable and dependable and the only one who won’t spill your secrets. There’s absolutely nothing you can’t tell God!
I came across a book by Asuen Nelson titled “Why Good Girls Remain Single.”
This book is a must read for every good girl out there! From it,I learnt why good girls remain single.
Reasons Why Good Girls Remain Single:
1. Lack of packaging sense- So,because you are spiritual you don’t think you need to dress well? You think the ladies who wear well fitted clothes would go to hell and burn to ashes right? Wrong! It is totally alright for you to dress in clothes that flatter your body. I’m not saying you should dress irresponsibly or expose your cleavage but you should dress in the right colors with outfits that flatter your shape. For example, yellow is a flattering color for dark skinned ladies because it makes your melanin pop while black would look like gold on light skinned ladies. Also, try new hair colours when making your hair not every time black hair extensions. There are other cool shades that will flatter your skin tone.
Learn how to make up( God bless YouTube and night browsing! You can even download them and watch later ),learn how to style your hair,learn how to style the clothes you already have etc. The Nigerian parlance is so applicable here: “Everything na packaging.” Looking good is not vain,it shows you love yourself enough to present yourself in a beautiful manner.
“Everything na packaging”
2. Over familiarity- I’m still learning this point because I get so comfortable with my male friends and don’t even see them as potential husbands. Even if you don’t think you can get married to your close friend because you are too close,he can recommend you or connect you to his brother or friend or colleague so always be in your best behavior. P.S Marrying your friend is the best thing ever cause even in the days you don’t even ‘love’ him,the friendship would keep you.
3. Zero social life- Darling,you ain’t gonna meet Mr Right by sitting in your room all day reading novels or watching TV. You need to be seen to be appreciated. Esther had to appear before the king to be appreciated,Ruth had to go to the field for Boaz to see her so quit hiding yourself. Go out more often by yourself and don’t take an army of your friends to the mall or movies all the time because some guys may not be bold enough to approach you when you are with your friends. Babe! Get up,dress up,make up and turn up!
4. High Standards- Not all guys are tall,dark,handsome,naira loaded,tongue speaking and all those criteria we have in our heads. Let’s face the truth –not all of us would get married to ready made wealthy men! Your upcoming entrepreneur date/boyfriend needs your encouragement to push his business to the next level. The Bible says “A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband but she that maketh ashamed is rottenness in his bones” (Proverbs 12:4).
This means that you are gold and whoever you marry becomes a king! Why? Because you are a crown! You have wealth in you already,you can either pull a man or bring him down. You show others that they should honor and respect him. I once overheard a lady say she can’t get married to a man who doesn’t have a car. A car is good but setting unrealistic standards for yourself is not right,I’m not saying getting married to man who has a car is wrong but let God’s plan for your life be the shopping list you roll with when selecting a good husband.
“A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband but she that maketh ashamed is rottenness in his bones” (Provs 12:4).
5. No self improvement- Girl,you’ve got to be well informed about any and everything. Read books on relationships,the power of being a woman and books to know how men think and the psychology of attracting the right kind of man you want. Read the news to know whats up,know about politics,the latest happening in Nigerian news,funny captions on Instablog or football news but by all means be informed! Your conversations with a guy should not be dry and boring except he is really boring or you don’t like him but if you do by all means interact intelligently with him as much as you can.
“Your conversations with a guy should not be dry”
Having said all,your man will come. Do your best and leave the rest for God to do his work. I have attached the e-book below so please feel free to read and share with your friends, We growing women must not leave any stone unturned as we grow into all God has ordained us to be.
Why do you think good girls remain single?
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